I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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