Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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