he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
