we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
