she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
