I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
