Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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