belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
