Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
