If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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