R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize