The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
