i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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