If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
