You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
