You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
