that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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