my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
