it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize