A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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