he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
