What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
