You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
