Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
