I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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