She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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