its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
zippers are such a cool invention
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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