What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
