And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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