you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
where are you?
Hypothermia
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
