Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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