I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
