Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize