apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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