Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
