If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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