No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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