Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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