This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
