OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
