return my video game
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
