do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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