Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize