Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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