I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
