had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize