I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
