Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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