YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
