Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
