I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
