He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
