Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
