I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the menβs room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out Iβm married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
