one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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