I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
