I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
