Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
