You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had to cum in my sink.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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