never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
