Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
