I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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