Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I love having hate sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
